Bachelor and bachelorette parties are a rite of passage as much as they are a party. They mark the transition from a single independent lifestyle into the commitments of married life.

In recent years, both bachelor and bachelorette parties have become a lot more creative. Drinking and sexuality are no longer mandatory activities at these events. Camaraderie and celebration are more the order of the day. Men may go out to sporting events, play sports themselves or head out for a hike in the woods. Women enjoy days at the spa, camping trips or head off to a restaurant for a gourmet dinner.

As you plan to host one of these fun pre-wedding events, here are the basics that you'll need to keep in mind.

• These events are usually organized by members of the bridal party.
• In no case does the bride or groom pay for their activities. The participants in the party pay the full bill. Be sure you plan an activity that is affordable to those who will cover the bill.
• It's okay to surprise the bride or groom with the activity that has been planned for the send-off party.
• That said, you should keep in mind the personality and wishes of the bride or groom. Although everyone else in the bridal party may expect and desire a stripper, the preferences of the honoree need to be respected. Don't embarrass the bride or groom with a stripper if you really know that wouldn't amuse them.
• These parties are a great opportunity to warmly roast the bride or groom, and to make a few off-color jokes about married life (again, as long as you know the guest-of-honor won't be offended). Therefore, plan for lots of amusing toasts. You might ask a few guests to prepare a toast in advance to get things started.
• Anyone who is invited to the bachelor/bachelorette party should be on the guest list for the wedding.
• Don't plan this party for the night before the wedding. Both the bride and groom want to be at their best for the big day, and if alcohol is involved, that's not likely to be the case. Even with a more mellow kind of party, there's usually lots of last minute details for the bride or groom to attend to the day before the wedding.

The bachelor party has long held a reputation as an evening filled with drunken debauchery. Only the toughest of brides could look upon this evening without at least a small knot in the pit of her stomach. Even if you trusted your husband-to-be, his friends were not be trusted further than you could throw the bridal bouquet. These buddies didn't have the bride's best interest at heart. Rather, they gleefully worked to make the groom act as naughty as possible, and the bride knew it! I once knew a woman who was so upset over her fiance's bachelor bash that she crashed the party. If you ask any man, that is a big "Don't." The sad thing is that nothing lascivious was happening at the party, and she was the only one that ended up with egg on her face.

In recent years, bachelor parties have become a lot more creative. Drinking and sexuality are no longer mandatory activities at these events. Camaraderie and celebration are more the order of the day. Consider these ideas for planning the next bachelor party you find yourself in charge of organizing.

• Many men enjoy attending sporting events. Box seats at a baseball game, tickets to the local college football game, or even ringside seats at a boxing match would appeal to a group of sports fans.
• How about a sporting activity for your group instead? Softball, paintball, basketball, bowling - choose the style that best fits the men on your guest list and, most important, the groom. Take everyone out for pizza and beer after you've worked up a good sweat.
• Go away! Plan a roadtrip to a favorite major league baseball game. Take everyone away for a weekend of bonding on the ski slopes. Conquer the white water rapids on a rafting and camping trip. Or charter a fishing boat for the weekend.
• Plan a more traditional male get together such as a poker night hosted in someone's home or at a local hotel. Instead of a deli party platter and beer, hire a bartender and go all out with an updated catered buffet that includes wraps, mini pizzas, or a selection of pasta dishes.

Final Thoughts

If your event will involve drinking, make arrangements for someone else to drive the group, or book hotel rooms for everyone to stay over.
Do not hire the stripper if you know the groom will be uncomfortable.
Don't use the stripper to embarrass the groom. She should be hired only for the groom's entertainment, not to give him memories that will cause regrets for a lifetime.
Schedule the bachelor party weeks before the wedding so the groom can show up rested and sober to his wedding.
Remember to be considerate of the wallet of all those who will be contributing to this outing.
 
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